Rieanna's Story

Since Rieanna was eight years old, her mum Bridget’s mental health has been up and down. When Bridget was partially unwell, social care placed Rieanna with her nan. But she went back and forth between her nan and mum until, at 13, she was fully handed over to her nan’s care. “I learned to be a very resilient person,” she explained. “I didn’t want to be a victim of my circumstances. I was also lucky to have my nan who has always been a strong role model in my life.” Rieanna understands that her turbulent childhood was because her mum was - and still is - unwell. She continues to support her to maintain stability and access the care she needs.  

When Rieanna arrived at Bridget’s home, she took a moment to check how she was doing – whether there was anything she needed to talk about and if everything was in order in the flat. She checked if the food in the fridge was in date, if clothes were away and whether the things she organised over the phone with professionals had been done. Her mum's shower was broken and had been meant to be fixed earlier in the week but hadn't been. She made a mental list of what she needed to do in the following days: contact housing about the shower, order takeaway for that evening’s dinner, contact doctor to order more prescriptions and cancel old ones.    

Bridget has schizophrenia. She experienced a relapse a year ago after abruptly stopping all her medication and was sectioned under the Mental Health Act. “I had to say yes to her section - I knew she needed support I couldn’t offer,” said Rieanna. “She’s still my mum, but I’m grieving who she was before the relapse and I’m still adjusting to who she is now. Her cognitive ability has changed significantly. They’re doing tests to explore if she has a type of dementia or if the change is because of suddenly stopping all her medication.” Rieanna is having to adapt, relearning what her mum can and can’t understand and do for herself.  

Rieanna explained that she spends a lot of time organising Bridget’s flat and labelling everything, but Bridget still struggles to keep tidy.    

“I need you to go through these clothes,” Rieanna prompted her mum, pointing to a pile of clothes on the floor.    

“It’s too much to organise,” Bridget replied.    

“Mum, I want to support you, but I can’t manage all of this by myself. I need you to try and keep things how I’ve set them up,” Rieanna responded. “I know you can do this. You need to try to maintain the organisation I leave you with.”    

She looked at her mum, took a breath and said, “I'll try and come back in the holidays when I have more time to sort your flat again. But I can’t keep doing it every month, it’s such a big job.” 

“I used to do everything for my mum when she first came home from hospital after her mental health relapse,” shared Rieanna. “Her social worker, care support team and I are working with her to support more independence and confidence in her daily life.” Things are a little easier now that she has arranged regular care workers to support Bridget. “We have a clear routine,” she said. “But appointments can throw it off as I have to work out how to get her there alongside my other commitments.” Sometimes her mum is particularly frustrated or upset and shouts at care workers to leave. Rieanna needs to drop everything to go and check she is okay and that everything that needs doing is done. Luckily, this happens less now as Bridget has built a good relationship with her regular care workers. She had been staying in most of the time but is now getting two hours extra support a week, to go to her local shop or library. She loves art and is soon starting an art course at college.   

For the past few years, Rieanna has also cared for her nan, Valda, who has dementia and is bedbound following a recent fall.    

“I have to schedule everything and stick to time, otherwise there’s no way I’d fit everything in,” Rieanna explained. She also cares for her sister who uses a wheelchair after a stroke four years ago and supports her sister’s three children. At the same time, she is a single mum to her own 15-year-old son. Each of her family members live a 40-minute drive from one another. “Caring has taken over my life,” Rieanna said. “I miss most of the fun, the time in the sun with my friends. By the time I’ve done everything everyone needs, the sun is setting, or my friends have finished their plans. I try to coordinate things to see them, but it’s not easy.” Over the last few years, she’s been diagnosed with IBS, other stomach issues and fibromyalgia, which she puts down to the stress of carrying these roles.   

Rieanna has never been able to claim Carers Allowance. Although it takes more than 35 hours a week to care for her family, she has always earned over the threshold. In two years, she will turn 40 years old. “I want to start living for myself, explore who I am outside of caring - finally!” she said. Carefree, a charity transforming vacant hotel rooms into vital breaks for full-time unpaid carers, gave Rieanna the chance to stop, rest and do some things she wanted. She was eager to visit a restaurant that offers the finest experiential dining, inspired aesthetically by a traditional Chinese Courtyard House. After getting ready and putting on her heels, she headed there to enjoy a delicious meal with her cousin. They laughed together and connected. “As a carer, full-time mum, and working full time, life can be incredibly demanding,” Rieanna said. “This break gave me a rare chance to rest and recharge, away from my daily responsibilities. That one night in a hotel, with everything taken care of, allowed me to focus on myself for once. It made a big difference to my well-being and helped me go back to my caring role feeling refreshed and valued.”