Abhilash's Story

Abhilash’s background is in science and biomedical research. But it is art he uses to process his feelings about his mum Divya’s diagnosis of dementia - and his experience of being her carer, alongside his brother and sister-in-law. 

Abhilash recently attended a conference about the latest dementia research. The speaker explained that we have a lot of strands of knowledge about the condition now, but the challenge is connecting them together. In a diagram showing how information links up, Abhilash saw a mirror of how he works artistically - connecting separate experiences, thoughts and feelings into pieces of art. He’s currently in his second year of a Fine Art degree. His artistic process is helping him observe, analyse and process his inner experience of caring for his mum. He hopes that those viewing his work will relate to some of his feelings and that this will lead to a deeper understanding of themselves and others. 

One of his paintings, titled “How did I come to be me?”, hangs above the sofa in the living room, illuminated by natural light which beams through the windows. “This uses layer upon layer of my own signature in paint,” he explained. “I wanted to look at the layers of identity that build up over a lifetime. How much do we appreciate all the layers that come to define a person?”

Abhilash’s first exhibition was about the uncertainty that comes with being both a carer and a loved one of someone with dementia. On one of the train journeys to see his mum, he realised he was feeling fear about what he was going to find, of how much Divya’s condition might have progressed in just the short time between visits.

He visualised a leaf about to fall - waiting for it to drop and not knowing at what point that will happen. What will be lost? From this concept, he created a piece - ‘Trepidation’. “This piece symbolises my fear around my mum’s decline, which is unpredictable and inevitable both at once,” he explained. He drew inspiration from his mum’s coloured drawings of flowers and leaves. Divya began to draw when she received her dementia diagnosis a couple of years ago. Abhilash stitched his mum’s drawings onto calico fabric shaped like a leaf and hung it from a branch of an elder tree. A short video shows beautiful shots of Divya’s hand as she draws. Gradually, this image transitions into another of Abhilash sewing those drawings together, a homage to both his mum’s history of being a seamstress. The video then cuts to a view of a real leaf about to fall in autumn. 

Abhilash is now working on his end of year exhibition. Along with the pieces above, he will be covering one wall of the exhibition with around 70 of Divya’s pencil drawings. Abhilash is working on a new piece that has allowed him to process the loss of the way his mum used to show her love by making meals. The family have had to make some changes in the kitchen to adapt to her condition - Divya can no longer use the cooker for safety reasons. Abhilash filmed his mum serving a traditional Gujarati meal, and is now photographing the abandoned thali of food each day as it grows mould. “This piece is called ‘Abandon’ - it’s about the fact that we as carers and those being cared for often have to let go of previous identities,” he explained. 

“I hope that the audience will use their minds and hearts, as well as their eyes, to find meaning and that this will lead them to gain insight and a better understanding of themselves and those around them,” Abhilash shared. 

Divya was not directly involved in the collection of this story, but granted Abhilash permission to tell it.